An Open Letter to Myself, 11 Years Ago

Dear Young Ted,

You should know by now that you are moving. I have some advice to you. First of all, you will want to go to the public school and your parents will want you to go to the private school. You're right, but you're not going to win. It isn't going to be easy to fit in at the private school, but you're going to have to try. Learn the rules to football, for one. Also, keep in mind that SoCal public school kids are radically different from religious private school midwest kids.

You will be hearing quite a bit about a fancy new high school sometime around eighth grade. Ignore it all, Public School is a lot better. No, you will not get beat up every day of the week, and no, you will not be forced to take drugs. In retrospect, that's kind of dumb that you thought that.

When you get a job, I suggest you first save your money for a car and after that work your butt off for more money. Go down to the airport and learn to fly. Or something else. Just, take up an activity to get out of the house. Something you like, not Boy Scouts. That one's gonna be a failure. Seriously, get a hobby.

Oh, and do your homework. Every day. I know it sucks, but learning stuff is cool, right? Just sit down and do it. Good grades will keep everybody happy.

Oh, and in about 9 years your world is going to turn to shit. Just trust me on this one. It's all going to be bad, but just remember this one thing for me: this is the worst thing that's going to happen to you. Which means after this, it's all downhill. Easy going from there. You get through that (and you will, I know), and you can get through anything.

Two last words of advice - Brush your teeth and wash your face. Do that, and you can conquer the world.

TRH