Judaism

So today I went to a Chabbat Dinner. It's pronounced with a definitive rolling in the throat, a very hebrew word. It is, after all, a Hebrew dinner officially starting the Sabbath, and it was for me very much a learning experience.

I have never been exposed to jewish ritual, or even culture. I spent the majority of my educative years in suburban Minnesota, filled with scandinavian folks brought up as Protestants, and occaisionally Catholics (like I used to be). I haven't been exposed to judaism really at all and so this was the immersion.

It was quite fun, really. They sang lots of songs in hebrew and we had DELICIOUS food (all of it Kosher, naturally), and after there were a WHOLE lot of songs. I found out the hard way it's tradition not to talk in between washing hands and eating (In our house, growing up, dinner was the only time the whole family got together, so we did a lot of talking about everything no matter what).

It was a great opportunity to ask lots of questions (and yes, to those of you who know me, I did my very best to be respectful and keep the jewish jokes to a minimum) and work to understand the jewish faith. It was interesting to be there when people were performing a religious ritual that likely meant something to them (I would say about as much as church meant to me as a catholic) when I was a complete outsider to their belief structure. It was clear they meant what they did and it was important to me, but to me it was all words. Religions are funny that way. Their god is no longer (was, but is no longer) my god.

Religion is weird that way sometimes. I have a hard time reconciling the hope and solidity it brings people with the despicable acts it can inspire people to perform. As such, I'm really having a hard time knowing just how to feel about such an event. I want to revel in their solemn and private faith and feel perfectly fine about observing such a thing, in fact being part of it. I don't want to feel bad, like an imposter or an intruder to such an event. I don't really agree with religion, condemning it on account of it's worse parts. One bad apple spoils the barrel, of sorts. Or perhaps more like nukes - everybody in the world has one, but it only takes one use of one to ruin everybody's day.

Some days I just don't know. Being fencish SUCKS.

TRH